Smash. Crack. Dex.

I went to the store. I bought a big bottle of Organic Wheat Free Reduced Sodium Tamari Soy Sauce (try saying that ten times fast!).  When I got home, I put the big bottle of soy sauce in the fridge door.  When Daniel came home, he opened the fridge door.  But apparently, our fridge didn’t want its door opened.  It told us so by expelling the contents of said door all over our kitchen floor.  Smash.  Amongst these contents was — you guessed it — the big bottle of soy sauce.  Did I mention that the bottle was glass?  It was.  And, unfortunately, the big, glass bottle of soy sauce wasn’t structurally sound.  It hit the floor and cracked clean in two.  Clean in two, I tell you.  Crack.  Its dark contents spread across the linoleum and made our apartment smell like fermented legumes (not a popular home-selling smell).  But, all was not lost!  Daniel, channeling his inner major league shortstop, snatched the broken bottle by its neck and, as if to toast the occasion, raised his arm high, preserving the remaining soy sauce in its crude, shiv-like goblet.  But victory was not yet ours.  We had still to find a new vessel for our (now sorely depleted) supply of soy sauce.  And Daniel proved the hero again!  Quick on his feet in this time of need, he told me to grab the empty bottle of Dex 4 glucose tablets that sat on our pantry shelf.  I was swift to the task and returned to the tamari-drenched scene with Dex bottle and funnel in hand.  Within minutes, the surviving soy sauce was safely held within its ingenious receptacle.  Daniel and I swabbed the decks (as it were) and our soy-flooded adventure came to a close.